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Today, I present to you my wonderful friends, a snippet of my WIP, The Dark Side Of Love, a romance novel which has gone through the first draft, though I am yet to write the concluding chapters. I’ve been slow in working on it due to tight official work schedules and other issues which vie for my attention. But this time I am hoping to complete the whole novel and edits.
Please give me a little of your time and humour me. Crits are welcome. Thanks a million 
The Dark Side of Love
Candace has everything, beauty, charm, education and a husband who worships the very ground she walks on. And yet she is not a happy woman. Memories from her past threaten her very existence and near perfect relationship she has with her husband. What is the secret that she shares with her sister? How does her mother fit into all this intrigue? Most importantly, will her marriage survive the darkness of her past?
Long after he had talked to his wife, Kofi Wellington lay in the hotel bed thinking of her. He missed Candace so much anytime he was away and knew that she missed him too. It was all in her voice, the way she ached for him, but sadly Candace could not bring herself to demonstrate this love to him any further than returning his kisses. And yet he loved her, too much, that was his problem. But was one not supposed to love and cherish his wife? What is the marriage vow all about if not love? The Bible talks about loving your wife and honoring her and he was doing exactly that and he was damned if he would do anything other than that. But he was human.
He had met Candace on a night when it had been raining so heavily and he had given her a lift. Her car had broken down and she had been unable to get a taxi. She had looked so much like a lost little girl in the rain that night and he had been afraid that she might get pneumonia or something. He had offered her his car duster to clean herself and given her his jacket to put on. The grateful smile on her face and that subtle uncertainly in her eyes had completely undone him. Even though he had wished that she would have ended up in his bed that night, it hadn’t been so. She had looked more dignified than that and even though he did not know it then, his womanizing had ended that night.
Much later, he hadn’t wanted to think that he had married a frigid woman. He even hated that term so much, it was so derogatory. Kofi believed that no woman was frigid. A woman was only sexually non-responsive if her partner was also lacking in the act of lovemaking. After all, it takes two to tango. And he could guess at the passion that lay beneath the surface of his wife. So what was the problem?
Mandy, Candace’ elder sister, was much more lively and a talkative actually, but despite the difference in personalities, the sisters were very close. Could he dare discuss this problem with Mandy? How would she not confide in him and tell her what was troubling her? He did not know what to do anymore. He was still awake at 4.00 am when the alarm went off.
=====================================================
“Dr. Wellington, can we please have your attention?”
Kofi gave a start, surprised to realize that his mind was far from the conference room. “I am sorry but I missed your question, Steve.”
“That’s alright. I was asking how soon you could commit your government to the project. The agreement has to be signed by the end of the month. It is very vital.”
“I do agree to the importance of signing the documents, Steve. But I cannot commit the government of Ghana to this project when the sector Minister has not briefed. Parliament has to give the go ahead and this could take longer than the end of month which is about a week and three days away. I don’t have to remind you that even though this is not a World Bank project we have to follow laid down procedures.” Trust these people to dictate terms to you once they know that they hold the shots. But he would not let allow them to bulldoze their way through just because they were giving his government fifty million dollars for the improvement of small-scale industries.
“I am sure you are mot implying that we are asking you to circumvent laid procedures, Dr. Wellington.” Steve Maloney had a disbelieving look on his face.
“Not at all. All I am saying is that you give my government ample time to pass this document through the right channels. Besides, I came over to Brussels with a clear view of studying these terms of the contract and the project and to make recommendations to my government. The government of Ghana cannot commit itself without properly studying and analyzing all the terms and implications of the contract. And the government of Ghana cannot effectively do that without having enough time to do that. I don’t think I am asking too much, am I?” Kofi was losing his cool now and it irked him that Maloney had gotten under his skin.
“Gentlemen, Please! Let’s deal with this amicably.” Rick Smith, the Director of African Affairs, Hastens Foundation, interjected smoothly. He was only too aware that Maloney could be obtuse when it comes to dealing with these Africans and he had to admit that Wellington had a point. Procedures had to be followed. Rick Smith cleared his throat and continued “Gentlemen, with World Bank Projects, procedures are followed and that is exactly what we should do here; Steve, Hastens Foundation has its laid down procedures as well and we must follow them. Dr. Wellington is here in his capacity as a consultant to his government, and we must respect his views. We also have to respect the operations of the political, legislative as well as executive machinery of the recipient country. Hastens Foundation chose Ghana after exhaustive search and mainly because of its stable political environment.”
“Well yes, Rick. But you know we have other countries on the waiting list with much more pressing needs”
“Yes. But those countries have questionable political climates, Steve. Let’s not belabor the point. Give Wellington time to do his homework with his government.”
“I agree with Rick and I think in this matter, our own policy should be foremost, gentlemen.” Collins Duiker said quietly. He had been following the arguments from one side of the oval conference table with interest. He was the Financial Controller with the foundation and his opinion in such matters carried a lot of weight. “Steve, it would not harm us if the government of Ghana is given time to study the terms and get back to us.”
“Oh, whatever you say, Collins. But how much time are we willing to allow, gentlemen?”
“I cannot say at the moment. But I’ll let my government know of the urgency ………..”
“Dr. Wellington, please give us a more definite answer than what you’ve just intimated” Steve Maloney interrupted harshly.
Kofi was not the least amused at the turn of events. Back home, he had cautioned the Minister of Finance against the government accepting this loan and the terms attached. He had even pushed for more investigations into the background of Hastens Foundation, but his advice had fallen on deaf ears. The fact was that his country was in dire need of money to make up for campaign promises. And he had this sinking feeling that there was more to the loan than met the eye. Steve Maloney’s attitude was suspicious enough. It was as if Hastens Foundation was desperate to give the money away to the first caller. It was obvious that Rick and Collins were doing everything in their power to erase that impression but Kofi was not fooled. He was also tired and was beginning to have a headache. He had been up all night thinking of Candace and he was now in no mood for this haggle.
“Give us a month, at the least, gentlemen.” He said, weary of everything.
“At the least?” Maloney was incredulous
“That’s alright, Dr. Wellington. We accept one month, at the least. And now gentlemen, if there is nothing else to discuss, I take it that the meeting has ended. The documents are ready for Dr. Wellington to take along.” Collins was anxious to avoid any more arguments. He did not want to arouse any suspicions; this Wellington guy was smart enough as it were. “When are you leaving to Ghana?”
“I booked the first flight tomorrow, KLM.”
“Fine, gentlemen, can we then go in for lunch? I believe Chef Martin has outdone himself this time.”
It had been a long session and everyone was hungry so this news was welcome to all, except Steve Maloney who felt that Wellington had got the better of them. But he kept his counsel, mainly because he knew that any further comments from him would arouse suspicion. Besides, he sensed that his colleagues were not happy with him. The truth of the matter was that Steve disliked Wellington and could not stand his arrogant manner. The guy was just too sure of himself and it did not help matters that he was handsome and his own wife had made a pass at him when they had first met in Brussels. That was just one of the problems with Jane, she could not resist Africans. The divorce would soon be final and he could have his freedom.
Copyright © Celestine Nudanu 5/2/13
Wow. Talk about writing tension. Definitely a lot going on in this story besides marital issues. It’ll make for an interesting read when it’s done.
Thank you CC. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. And you’re right. There’s so much going on.
But I realise I should have given you guys the snippet from the beginning, which would have made more sense. 
I’ll try to remember to come back at the weekend to read properly Celestine.
Can’t wait for your comments, Gilly
oooo I like this, a little wordy in spots but so intriguing C, can’t wait for more!!! (((xx)))
Thank you, Len.
I like your style and the way you start to develop your characters! It’s so wonderful to be able to read a work in progress – thanks for sharing
Oh Letizia, thank you so much for the feedback.
Love the Truman Capote quote below too Celestine, well done, it sounds promising and keep that quote in mind when revising
Thank you so much, Claire. Will do
I like!
Great job.
Thank you, Lady Lovely
I’m not an expert but, your story drew me in and kept my attention all the way!
Thank you, Marie for taking time to read this.
Celestine. I’m so happy to see you’re writing.
I very much like this piece:
“Candace has everything, beauty, charm, education and a husband who worships the very ground she walks on. And yet she is not a happy woman. Memories from her past threaten her very existence and near perfect relationship she has with her husband. What is the secret that she shares with her sister? How does her mother fit into all this intrigue? Most importantly, will her marriage survive the darkness of her past?”
Very nice synopsis. It make me want to read Candace’s story and learn her secrets. Sweetly done.
I like the beginning with Candace’s husband struggling with his secret troubles at home. This give me a sense of who he is and what he’s about, that he’s a man of both honor and complexity.
In the second part: It’s good to see him in action at work. This way I can see he’s an important man and thoughtful. I like the way the narrative is carried forward on the energy of the dialog. But I hunger to have a continuation of the intimacy with Kofi’s innermost thoughts from the beginning of the piece. For me, the details of the meeting cloud the real man.
I hope this is useful for you. Keep writing, friend.
Alice
Oh Alice, thanks a million for the lovely feedback. I’m very grateful
Your suggestions have been taken in good faith, my dear friend 
Celestine, I’m intrigued
Coming from you, I’m so elated at your words, Stacy.
Celestine it sounds interesting but as an American I couldn’t follow the business meeting. You had too much going on. Kofi thinking of his wife. Then you tell us how they met. I think it would draw your audience in if you start by showing how he met his wife. Then he wakes from the memory with his feeling on attending the meeting. Use the same technique we use for the 100 challenges eliminate what is not necessary. Write how you speak. Give your characters their own voice or identifying habits like biting a pen, chewing gum something that makes their personality stand out. Don’t tell a story show it. I’m not picking just trying to help. I know it’s a first draft so when you edit you can keep in mind the few tips I learner over the years. You really do have a good start just take your time. Good luck.
So sorry I got to you late, Kim. I do appreciate your feedback.
especially about giving the characters their own voice 
I should have brought you guys parts of the beginning of the story and not from the middle of chapter 2. That would have clarified a lot for you readers. 
Thank you, my dear friend
A high current of romance cut across the dialogue here and it’s good read for anyone interested in a fine blend of politics and romance. Well done on this.
Thank you Charles.
I love your comments 
Girl that is tense!! Whoo i need a drink now lol!!! Great work!
Ow, thanks a million, Jasmine
The introduction is engaging. I enjoyed reading how they met and the concerns Kofi had about his wife. You have stayed true to the cadence of the language (African English) and it gives it an authentic feel. The transition to the second part was terrific, however, I expected to meet Kofi’s wife or something in the same vein as the earlier story. The meeting might work in the larger context of your novel but, as a snippet here, it doesn’t work because we are not privy to what led us there or the whys and wherefores that preceded the actual meeting. When placed back in its correct chapter in your novel, I bet it will flow nicely. You have written a wonderful book and I’d give you the advice my mentor/teacher gave me: Don’t put too much of your book out there as publishers do like original content that hasn’t been picked over. Your snippet is a good idea. Keep going and finish your project.
Blessings,
Eliz
Elizabeth, thanks a million for your wonderful feedback. I realise that I should have posted a snippet from the beginning of the novel, That would have been more meaningful, instead of somewhere in chapter 2! It would have flowed more nicely as you said. Now I’m wondering whether I should start from the beginning or let it be.
I’ll be sending you an email soon
Let it be… Look forward to hearing from you then.
Afua, to tell you the truth, it was really engaging…. I love the story. perhaps some emending here and there but still it is all good. Let me know when the novel will be out.
xoxox
Mary
Glad you love this, Mary. Your encouraging words mean a lot to me.
I definitely will let you know.
You hooked me in!
I’m glad
splendid piece celestine! is it finished?
Thank you so much, Trisha. No, it is not finished . I’m left with the concluding chapters and then off for editing and then I will start looking for a publisher