Welcome to my second 100 words post on the Friday Fictioneers based on the photograph below, which is a prompt from Madison Woods. Hop over to her blog for more exciting reads. After commenting on my blog, kindly post a link to yours so I can hop over and peruse your story. Enjoy yourself:
Eloped
A dash across the lawn
On a sun-kissed morn
Its shimmer so silver
The radiance evokes my fever
A dash across to the bridge
On feet of gossamer wings
My flight in my haste
To my love and fate
In flight across the bridge
Yearning for my love
He waits amongst the lilies
Ready my body to devour
Kiss me, my lips so fresh
Like dew on the earth
Needing to feel your breath
Caressing me in mirth
Under the tunnel we meet
We kiss, we feel, on heat
We dance, a naked dance
Free, cries my heart at last.
(C) Celestine Nudanu
13/4/12
This was very charged at the end, and I can only think that if I wrote prose like that, it would make it more exciting and artful.
Needless to say, I think this is great.
http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/04/12/friday-fictioneers-halfway-bridge/
Thank you for the fine words and for stopping by. will hop over to your end soon
A different take on the prompt, and a different presentation, too. Nicely done.
http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/a-place-to-die-for-friday-fictioneers-13-april-2012/
Thanks, Sandra. I do appreciate your comments.
Incredibly beautiful, Celestine. (As is your name!) Your choice of words and your pacing — I almost experienced young love again. 🙂
–Jan
http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/1571/
Oh my! Thank you so much for liking my poem and my name. I am glad you liked this piece. I do believe love young or old, can be fulfiling and beautiful, just like my name. Lol!
Ah a love story.. so sweet. I loved it!
Glad you liked it, Stacy.
1st thanks so for your visit
2nd enjoyed the beauty of your bridge building romance
3rd you were the one I heard in the tunnel
so nice to meet you
I am glad you enjoyed the poem; ha ha ha at the bit about the tunnel. Glad to know you too
Hi. Nice to meet you, I don’t think I read your blog last week. I enjoyed this poem and loved that it was such a positive take on the prompt (mine is somewhat dark).
Here it is: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/04/13/the-incident/
Happy you enjoyed this poem. Yes, I only joined this week and posted rather late for last week’s prompt.
Been to your blog and loved your post.
Beautiful!! Love it!!
http://swthink.blogspot.com/2012/04/michael.html
Thanks, Brooke. Love yours too.
this had a somewhat fantasy or other-worldly feel. like two beings that weren’t really there. like in another dimension. must have been the gossamer wings, which i assume were just metaphorical, but still…..
Rich, I agree that gossamer is metaphorical. ‘feet of gassamer wings’ implies running or flight on light feet, speed as if winged, to meet her lover.
Well, romance can have a touch of fantasy to it, you know. Thanks for the stop over and for your feedback. It’s appreicated.
glad to add
Lovely. Such a different approach and well worth it.
http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/flash-fiction-story-1-for-fridayfictioneers/
Glad you liked the approach. Thanks for the hop over. Off to yours.
I don’t think I’ve ever been to your blog before. I love the picture at the top! So comfortable looking…
But, back to your prose…such a beautiful take on the prompt. It’s nice to read one where someone isn’t dead or about to die!
Susan, thanks for the nice words, I appreciate your stopping over. I’ve always been a romantic at heart and almost all stories I write have romantic elements. (not published yet)
When I saw the photo prompt, I had to follow … and this surprised! I’ve been thinking about cross-training in poetry, and this felt like another little nudge from the fates. It plays interestingly against the perspective in the photo–something in the lines that draws you in. (And if you rearranged the lines of the poem, they’d read as prose… except for the reversal of word order in one line…)
I think you should follow the nudge and allow the verses to flow. It would be great to read from poems from you. I am glad you stopped by.
I’m not one for poetry, but this worked well as a build-up with plenty of erotic charge. You made the right call in not going into detail too, avoiding that minefield deftly!
http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/134/
Thanks, Gary. 100 words is pretty confining, and one has to make the best of words in order to make good meaning.
Hi Celestine: Welcome to FridayFIctioneers. Lovely, sweet poem. Wonder how it would read if you wrote it in prose instead. Probably be just as lovely and sweet. Looking forward to your story next week. Here’s mine:
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
Lora, thanks so much for stopping by. I am glad you liked the poem. You’re right, writing the same words in prose would be lovely as well.
I am really thinking of joining this. I will agree with tollykit – lovely!
Oh Geosi, this is such fun and I wish you would joiin us. Thanks for the compliment.
Wow! Very beautiful poem. I loved the word choice!
I hope no one walks in on their naked bodies… 😉
Thanks, Susan. Oh my goodness, I hope not!
Beautiful verse. I found myself reading faster and faster in response to the hunger of the narrator. Really good job!
Ow! Thanks! I am glad you found the poem beautiful, I do agree, that it is fast paced and like you siad, it depicts the urgency and hunger the narrator feels, to be joined with her love.
That was completely unexpected. Very poetic (but you knew that 😉 ) I’ll be interested to see if similar themes run through future Friday contributions, or if this lusty interpretation was a one-time offering 🙂
Ha ha ha! I do tend to write ‘lusty’ verses, Stacey, so I won’t disappoint you. Thank you for stopping by.
I loved the light-hearted and joy-filled dashes toward love. So glad there was the fulfillment of actually finding it. I almost felt myself running along with her. Beautiful 🙂
Thank you, Madison. Glad you liked it.
Nice poem. Very playful.
Mine at http://shirleymccann.blogspot.com/2012/04/nightmare.html
Thanks, Shirley. Glad you stopped by. I will check out your blog soon.
Pingback: Two Gossamer Wings | My Blog
This is so playful and sweet. 😉
Thank you, Elizabeth. I am glad you finally landed on my blog.
Oh…I’ll have to come and poke about this page some more. I too like how you have organized it. 🙂
Through Carrot Ranch I’ll be hosting a flash fiction with the inclusion of a Septolet or two – it’s a contest on Thursday October 12th. Mine is Contest #3.
See: https://carrotranch.com/
Will remember to check it out. But please email me to do so. I may forget LOL. 🙂
Emailed you the info. 🙂
Thanks dear.