Tags
Welcome to my sixth 100 words post on the FridayFictioneers based on the photograph below, a prompt from Madison Woods.Hop over to her blog for more exciting reads. After commenting on my blog, kindly post a link to yours so I can stop by and peruse your story. Please, enjoy yourselves:
Tanoa’s Baby
They say she could stare at the moon all through the night, eyes unwavering, her breath choked as she searched upwards. They say she could read the moon just by staring, willing its blank and yet legible face to tell her the whereabouts of her baby.
That night, six years back when the skies had opened up and let loose its torrent of tears to wet the scorched earth, Tanoa’s baby had disappeared, together with people’s huts and belongings. The priest’s prayers to the gods to make rain fall had been in excess. And Tanoa’s mind had snapped, a twig.
Reading Pleasure 
A lot of emotion in a short space.
here’s mine: http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com
Thanks.
“And Tanoa’s mind had snapped, a twig.” Loved this sentence and the rest of your sad story. More channeling of past worlds by present day authors. Madison’s photo is really bringing out the best in us tonight.
Aloha,
Doug
Thank you for your compiment. Much appreciated, Doug.
The last line is amazing and evocative and certainly what would happen in this case. And the story is a good lesson about watching what you ask for. Good job.
Here’s mine: http://unspywriter.wordpress.com/friday-fictioneers/in-moonlight-and-peace/
I am happy you like this. I’m off to your blog.
This was a sad story. I’d like to believe her perceived ability to read the moon is fact and not just the suspicions of a superstitious priest and tribe, but I have my doubts.
Here’s mine:
http://michaelsfishbowl.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/i-miss-you-so/
It’s all in her imagination. It’s a sign of her madness that she reads the moon in an effort to locate her baby, Thanks for your insightful comment.
That was a really beautiful take on the prompt from a totally different world view!
The entire story rang true, both exotic and visceral. well done!
Yours as ever,
Lindaura
http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com
Ow, thank you so much for such beautiful words. Much appreciated. Yours is so cool too.
Incredible, sad story in so few words. Something about the words “they say,” adds such mystery, even adds to the sadness. Beautiful as usual!
–Jan
Thank so much. I’m honoured.
Oh gosh! Poor woman! Just sad. nicely done.
My linky: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/she-called-to-him/
Merci beaucoup!
Oh my! This one reaches inside, grabs your soul and gives it a really nasty little slap. Her feelings of loss, of the insanity attending it are so thoroughly able to be felt and appreciated. Nicely done.
Goodness, your comments rock me. I’m all excited over here; thanks a mil!
So sad, yet also beautiful in its way – searching the universal skies for answers, something we have always done!
Thanks for the comment you left on mine at http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/moon-and-sky
Yes, but sometimes, we don’t find the answers so easily. I’m glad you found this beautiful. Thanks for the stop over.
This piece is quite emotional and feels like lore. I just adore the way the story flows. I can’t wait to read more of your work!
My link is here: http://quillshiv.com/2012/05/11/the-first-world/
Thank you so much for the vote of confidence. Will be there.
Wow!!! Kudos, so much power in so few words. Again kudos
Thanks, Boomie. Why don’t you join the Friday Fictioneers? It’s such fun and so creative.
A perfect ending to a sad tale. Wonderfully told. Kudos to you.
My attempt: http://authorbrandonscott.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/death-cart/
Thanks so much.
Oh, it’s wonderful. You’re the second person to get a flood out of this, and I totally didn’t think of it at all!
http://kaitlinandmichaelbranch.com/2012/05/11/friday-fictioneers-2/
LOL! Thanks, Kaitlin.
I love how wise you showed the villagers to see her, considering the fact that the thing that had started all this was that her mind had ‘snapped like a twig’. When I read this piece, I can certainly understand that her heart must have done that, but her mind and dignity seem intact.
But the piece felt very believable, and created emotion.
I agree with you, that her heart mighth have snapped as well as her mind. Even her heart alone might have snapped considering the circumstances. Thanks for your insight and wonderful comments.
Very emotional story. I agree with Doug above, your last line was wonderful. Here’s mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/05/11/you/
Thank you, Janet.
Beautiful and evocative. Especially that last line.
Thank you, Emma.
Amazing power! Amazing feeling. So few words to evoke such strong emotions. I know you’ve already been by, but maybe some others would like to check it out…http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/11/friday-fictioneers/
Glad for your comments.
Great last line. A wonderful image.
Thanks, Craig.
original and emotional writing! I love how you did this! The last line is especially good. To me, the sign of good fiction writing is the ring of truth in the words–and this piece has it. Awesome!
OMG! I am so elated at such high compliment. You’ve really made my day. Thanks for taking the time to visit and for your words.
Great sense of atmosphere and loss in this piece. Very good.
Mine’s at: http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/you-called-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/
Thanks so much, Sandra.
I like your closing. Nice job!
Appreciated!
I can really imagine someone looking to the heavens for understanding when trauma happens and of course the link between her mind snapping and ‘lunacy’ is inspired 🙂
Thanks for your comment on mine and for other readers here is my attempt: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/05/11/friday-fictioneers-painting-creation/
Powerful piece. Amazing what strong emotions you can evoke in so few words. Come on by: http://melodypearson.com/flash-fiction/friday-fictioneers-photo-prompt/
Wow, hands down, this is my favorite thing you’ve written so far. I can’t get over how heartbreaking it is. Wonderful job 🙂
http://whimsicalquestsofacuriousmind.blogspot.com/2012/05/friday-fictioneer-moonlight-and-pine.html?showComment=1336750630999#c6608604366537448624
I’m so tickled! Your words mean so much to me. Thank you.
You convey, very effectively, the obsession of a parent looking for answers when none can be found against the irony of a blessing that became a curse. Well done!
Wakefield
http://www.wakefieldmahon.com/1/post/2012/05/the-good-old-days-friday-fictioneers.html
Thanks for another wonderful insight.
very moving http://craftytara.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/thank-goodness-for-moonlight/
Thanks, Tara.
Powerful story and very evocative. I think I’d add “like a twig” to the last line, but the imagery and storytelling is excellent. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thanks also for commenting on mine. Here it is for others:
http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/05/watchers-100words-for-fridayfictioneers.html
Siobhan
Thanks for your wonderful comments. Much appreciated!
I think this is one of your best! Good job.
Ow, thanks a mil!
This is one of my favorites from this prompt. I was right there gazing up at the moon with her–looking for answers where none could be found.
thanks for visiting mine. Here’s the link for others
http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
I’m glad I could inspire and move you so.
A lovely, very distinct vision of loss and madness. Glad to see you came by, again!
Kathy
http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/stay/
Thanks, KT. I love your posts.
“They say” is the perfect way to start this one, giving it the feeling of a town’s people whispering about a broken member of the community. The descriptions of the rain, and likening the character to a twig, help sell the connection to nature behind it all. Nice job!
–Brian (http://pinionpost.com/2012/05/11/the-runaway/)
Your analysis is very much appreciated.
I agree with the others…this is your best and my favorite so far. I applaud you. I visualize this poor soul joining many of the Tsunami/earthquake/tornado mothers losing/searching for their children and …looking upward for answers. I agree with Soibhanmuir…I would add “like a twig” at the end…but that’s your choice. Thank you for commenting on mine.
Thanks so much for liking my work and for the vote of confidence. I’m actually humbled by the avalanche of compliments, which I know is genuine.
Gosh that’s so powerful and emotive in so few words! having found your site I have had my first try at FF!
http://lucidgypsy.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/friday-fictioneers-lunacy/
I am glad you’ve joined FF. It’s fun and so creative. Thank you for the visit and follow. I’m off to yours.
a sad story, so true
Thank you.
Very sad and evocative tale and a well-conceived ending.
My story is here: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/
Thanks for the fine words. Will stop by.
Wonderful tale of loss leading to insanity. Nicely put together, loved the ‘they say’ line.
Here’s mine: http://teschoenborn.com/2012/05/10/friday-fictioneers-et-wannabe/
Glad you liked it. ‘They say’ is a rumour syndrome in Ghana. ‘They say’ is a term used when a story is rife and yet the author is not even known; more often than not there is some truth in such stories, albeit embelished.
They say things, but they can’t comfort her.
This was very powerful. Great job!
http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/05/12/following-footsteps/
Thanks; rumour mongerers normally don’t have anything to offer.
A great piece of writing, very evocative.
Loved that last line, “And Tanoa’s mind had snapped, a twig.”
I’m glad you liked it.
The last line is especially poetic but I enjoyed the entire story. You achieve the right balance of carefully selected words and images with flowing passages of backstory. Well done.
Here’s mine: http://wp.me/p1Tjpv-aJ
Much appreciated. I enjoyed your story too.
love it!
Thanks, KK.
I liked the play on imagery with luna being the root of lunacy, and moon madness. A sad story, and very well written.
Thanks, Madison; I like the lunar angle. I hadn’t thought of that, but it makes great sense.
Wonderful comments already–that’s what I get for running late with the last “handful” of stories I needed to read. All I can say is “Ditto” to all the remarks. Well done.
Thanks for stopping by my site.
Thank you too. Better late than never.
Exceptional story this week, full of sadness (and madness) that reaches everyone reading.
Thank you so much for your comment. Sadness and madness, never thought of the rhyming.
Loved “torrent of tears to wet the scorched earth,” but a little concerned about “They say she could read the moon just by staring.” If she never found the answers there (never got her child back), then it seems like there was very little reading going on. If she’d gotten her child back after six years, then this sentence would be more believable. 🙂
You’re right; there is very little reading going on. ‘Reading’ is used figuratively to depict her mad mind ‘reading’ the moon for answers that are not forthcoming; for her baby had died in the flood. Thanks for your comments.
This is stirring… very good piece!
sorry for coming so late… I have been facing lot of issues in getting to the internet from where I am these days… 😦
Thank you, Parul. Never mind; better late than never.
There’s a book in that one… work it! 😉
Working on it Elizabeth. Many thanks!
Pingback: Lady of War « Quill Shiv