Another wonderful Friday is here and as we say in Ghana, (and elsewhere I believe) thank God it is Friday. The Fictioneers are busy today, taking their cue from Madison Woods’ photo prompt for a 100 words story this week, a rainbow. I am sure members are going to come out with lovely and lightly toned themes, judging from the beautiful photo below. Mine is a bit off course, though, but tightly packed with salient themes. I do hope you enjoy it. So, here we go:
Sinking Low
The children came home from school with long faces, their stomachs rumbling with hunger. They had been sent home for school fees. I couldn’t look them in the face; I have failed them, just as my employer failed me, refusing to pay me my wages for the month because I led the strike action.
Since the strike, my wife refuses to talk to me; she says I should have thought of the children before doing something so foolhardy. She says I am irresponsible.
This morning, Rainbow, my landlord stormed in with the quit order. How low can a man sink?
Very emotional and descriptive of what can happen when you stand up for what’s right.
Here’s mine: http://unspywriter.wordpress.com/friday-fictioneers/sure-and-its-hard-work-being-wee-folk/
I do agree. In some parts of the world, ‘right is might’. Thanks.
Now I’m worried for him. I hope something works out for him and his family!
Thanks for your comment on ours (which is at http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/a-cordello-memory for other visitors)
It may take time though, for him to find a job; that is the situation in Africa, with him having little education.
I have high hopes for him 🙂
Time to start his own school (one with no fees and which teaches the principles he embodies so well.)
A very good story and an imaginative take on the prompt.
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/no-rain-no-rainbows-3/
Thanks, Doug. Been over yours.
Interesting dilemma presented here, and the consequences are slightly heartbreaking.
If I may, there may be a few words you could strike out (the second school, me, had) that would tighten it up. Also, maybe something showing us their despair (long faces and empty bellies instead of just telling.)
But, an interesting concept, very apt for our times. Nicely done.
Thank you for your comments. I had the 100 words limit in mind and so could not elaborate. But I accept your suggestions and would effect them. Thanks a mil!
Powerful piece.
I think you could make it stronger by using less “hads” ie. Perhaps you could shorten things like “had refused to speak to me” to just “refused to speak to me”
Other than that, you painted quite a picture. Thanks for the short journey to your country.
I feel like I’ve been around the world this morning without leaving my chair.
Mine is here: http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/05/miracle.html
Thanks for your suggestions. Corrections effected and I’m glad You were able to ‘visit’ Ghana.
It’s not always as simple as seeing the beauty in the simple things, especially when your world is falling apart around your ears and out of your control.
Nicely realised and emotional.
http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers/
Certainly. Thanks for your kind words. Will visit.
Nothing changes; fighting for rights always brings out the best and the worst in people who are on opposite sides of the fence – you’d have thought by now that we would have all learnt that we are living together, side by side and that peace and supportiveness produces far more ‘growth’ than kicking people when they are down. Really well written and I do hope that things improve for the protagonist 🙂
Here’s mine too for those who have yet to read it: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-god-plays-the-tom-toms/
You’re so right, Linda. Thank you for your toughtful and insightful comments. Much apppreciated.
You are very welcome indeed, I love something that makes me think 🙂
A very poignant and sad reminder of the consequences of doing what is morally imperative but has the potential to have brutal personal repercussions. Very inspired take.
My offering: http://www.jeffreyhollar.com/2012/05/golden-quest.html
I appreciate your apt comments. Glad for the visit.
Goodnight! No uplifting tale this one. Talk about Murphy’s law. Poor guy.
My attempt: https://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/fields-of-wildflowers/
Ha ha ha! I like your candour. This one certtainly is depressing, but that is a reflection of what happens in our socities.
Poor man, stand up for what you believe in and let down the people you love. What a dilemma. Nicely portrayed.
http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/pursuit-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/
A real fix, Sandra; You know, my elder brother was in the same fix some years back and it threw all the family into a state of despair. I never thought of it until now. Thanks for the visit.
Doing the hard thing is never easy. People everywhere yearn to be free of oppression. God made us that way……
Too true. Thanks for the stop over and comments.
I feel bad for this man. Not because he lost his job, but because his wife doesn’t seem to respect that he is a good man.
My attempt: http://authorbrandonscott.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/facade/
Yeah, it happens sometimes; but she is the loser for that. Glad for the stop over and comment.
What a beautifully written piece. The despair of his wife, his children’s suffering, his guilt over doing what he felt was right. Very well done and a theme that resonates no matter where you are in the world. I so enjoy reading what you write! I know you already read mine, but for your readers that would like to blog hop a little, here’s my submission: http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers-2/
I am so glad I have a fan in you. I love your stories too. Thanks a mil for your lovely comments.
Beautifully written piece and very poignant.
Here’s mine
http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/rainbows-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction/
Thank you for your words. Much appreciated.
Thanks for your kind comments on my site! I like the flow of this…from bad to worse. Interesting direction given the bright, sunny nature of the “prompt” photo.
I do agree. And thanks for the comments on mine as well.
Very good stuff and very powerful.
Thank you.!
oh damn, tough life! That sucks, stuck in that cycle…
here’s one of ours: http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-lightnessvisible/
Yeah, I know. My brother has been there and thankfully back now. Thanks, will be over.
This makes a great point that standing up can also mean making a sacrifice! Nicely done!
Here is mine:
Without a Doubt? http://onecoolsitebloggingtips.com/2012/05/17/wordpress-com-who-follows-who/
Thank you, Susie.
Wrong link! See the one below! Sorry!
I enjoyed the story and the comments. I wonder how we would have felt if he hadn’t stood up for what he thought was right? Would his wife have respected him then? I doubt it. Well written piece. Good job.
thanks for commenting on mine. Here’s the link for others http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
Thanks a mil for appreciating my story.
Interesting take on the prompt – I find it amazing how many different ways people can be inspired. Your story of standing up for principles in light of the consequences is a good one. I hope he finds his way.
Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/eirinn-go-brach/
He will, as they all do, after a while. Thanks you for your nice comments.
I was impressed with the way this propmt took you. Your character has a lot of strength and is willing to take a desparate chance. Good for him! And you for sharing this tale. http://oldentimes.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/can-it-be-friday-fictioneers-may-18-2012/
Thank you so much for your lovely words.
This makes a great point that standing up can also mean making a sacrifice! Nicely done!
Here is mine:
Without a Doubt?
http://susielindau.com/2012/05/18/without-a-doubt-100-word-flash-fiction/
Yeah, agreed. Thank you.
aw, that’s quite sad too….
I hope the wife would understand the man….it’s not easy in his situation. poor little children.
Yes, in such situations the children do suffer; as happend in my brother’s situation until. My mother and I had to chip in and help out.
Oh boy, that was the most pessimistic story ever written around a rainbow! But it was very well told, really true to life, and as grim as you could possibly get.
Yours as ever,
Lindaura
Oh my! Lindaura, you’re right. I knew this take would be well grim, when I started. But I had to tell the story, you know. Thanks for your comments.
Just when you think you’ve seen the lowest thing a human can do to another, you discover there’s another rung on the ladder!
It never stops, the human ability to inflict pain on others. Thanks for stopping by.
A different take on the prompt, goes to show where one sees fairy tales another sees sacrifice.
Yeah. Thanks a mil for your time over here.
Aw, sad face. I wasn’t expecting something so sad face… 😦
When a strike can be considered something so “foolhardy”, you have to wonder just how good we have it here, and how ignorant we are of this. I have heard of numerous teacher’s strikes, but never that the leader of the strike was denied pay.
That’s something to think about.
http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers-rainbows/
This happens to some workers in the private sector, where it is only one person who owns the company, normally a small scale one, and can therefore do as he pleases. Lots of staff in the low income group are asked to go away in such situations with little or no wages/compensation until such times that the Union can negotiate on their behalf. These days, things are improving, though.
Poor man, although I have sympathy for his wife too. Strike action is hard to justify when the effects can be so crippling on the ones you love, however “right” it is in the grander scheme of things. You depict the story well and I think with a bit of polishing we would be totally engrossed in your world.
Thanks for popping over to see mine. Your good-looking, generous readers should come too. I’m over here, hoping flattery works 😉 http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fiction-the-lie-of-the-land/
Ha ha ha! You charmer! Thanks a mil for your fine comments; you’ve looked at the story from all angels and analysed the situations fairly. I am happy.
Oh my…he really needs that rainbow pot of gold! Seriously, a well-told story of how hard life can be, one problem after another.
Thanks for commenting on mine (http://newpillowbook.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-finding-the-gold/)!
Ha, he surely needs it badly.! Thanks too.
Great use of naming! I also got a good sense of the story through this little window, and the guilt the main character is feeling. Nice job!
Thanks for reading mine already – here’s the link for your readers: http://pinionpost.com/2012/05/18/wake-up-where/
Brian
Glad you liked the name. Sometimes, there isn’t much at the end of the rainbow, you know. Happy you came over.
Emotionally charged tale. Very well done, nice unique tie-in with the prompt.
Thanks for commenting on mine! http://teschoenborn.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers-luck-of-the/
Thanks a mil for your lovely comments.
Enjoyed reading, thank you 🙂
anne
Thank you too, for coming by and for the comment and likes. Much appreciated. Will be over soon.
there’s no hope for a person that does what’s right, such a shame.
Sometimes, life can be like that. But i would want to believe that he had hope at the end. Thanks for coming over.
Thanks for giving us a view into a different world, and I’m really glad you’re in the group. Very touching story. We take so much for granted in our big rich country. Thanks for reading and commenting on mine.
Ow, thanks for your lovely words. Hopefully, we will learn a lot from each other.
I would never have come up with a story this powerful looking at the picture. Your story saw beyond the obvious sight of a rainbow. Bravo!!!
tweeting :)!!!
Thank you, my good friend. Now I am happy.
:)….you know i am a fan always
Wow what a story. I honestly don’t know what to say about this. It’s well written I can say that, but…
Okay I almost lost my home this month so I guess I’m a little emotional about this one. I wish I could keep my feelings and your story separate. Thank you for the share?
I know you already visited mine but here’s the link for anyone else: http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/05/friday-flash-fiction-country-walk.html
Oh, Atiya, I’m sorry if this has affected you so. My brother went through this some years back and I could not help writing about it.
An Interesting take story on the prompt.
Thanks, Sheila.
Never could’ve imagined a piece like this coming from that prompt! Very imaginative, very intense and full of misfortune.
http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/fridayfictioneers-rainbow-memorial/
Thanks for the nice comments, Gary. This is based on a true story, you know.
Oh the price we pay for standing our ground. Well written, deeply emotional. Interesting use of the prompt. 🙂
Wakefield
http://www.wakefieldmahon.com/1/post/2012/05/light-supremacy-friday-fictioneers.html
Thanks, Wakefield, for your fine words.
What an incredibly tough situation he is in. A really imaginative take on the photo and it works brilliantly. I hope it works out okay for him in the end.
http://freejournowriter.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-end-of-the-rainbow/
Yes, isn’t he? Thanks a mil for such fine words.
You continue to tackle difficult subjects that leave me thinking long after I’ve finished reading the words. You have a talent for expressing the conflict and tension in our everyday lives. Excellent.
Thank you for commenting on mine: http://wp.me/p1Tjpv-aV
Ow, thanks so much for your wonderful words. I’m greatly inspired by them and happy to give you food for thought.
I can feel this poor man’s dilemma. Pride in sticking to what he believes is right, yet despair and guilt…knowing by his actions will cause family suffering. Here’s mine:
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
Tough situation. Thanks so much for coming over.
that story brought me down, but that means it was well done.
http://brainsnorts.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers-518-via-madison-woods/
Ow, thanks so much, Rich.
pretty depressing situation!
Yeah, I agree. Thanks.
Goodness how very sad, I pray for a happy ending.
That happy ending took long in coming, Gilly. But he finally got there. Thank you.
It’s hard standing up for something you believe in – especially when there is such a high price to pay for doing so. People like your character are the true heroes of the world – without them and their personal sacrifice, nothing would ever get done – nothing would ever change.
~Susan
Thank you for your inspirational words. Truly, he is a hero.
OMG! Poor guy! Inspirational, though sad. Good work.
Thank you very much.
very hard to make that kind of choice sometimes…until you realise there really is no choice
How true! Thanks.
How low can a man sink… Lower than last time every time…
Sad and unfortunate… But a different take on the prompt! 🙂
Parul
http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/alicia-in-wonderland/
Yes, certainly a different take. Thanks for coming by.
This is a creative use of the prompt, turning it into a name. And contrasting the landlord’s actions with what one would expect from a Rainbow.
Thanks a lot for drawing my mind to this creative contrast. Never thought of it when I decided to name the landlord Rainbow.
Very unusual use of the prompt. When I got to the end of my first version this week, I realized I hadn’t referenced the Rainbow and did a complete re-vision. I don’t think I would have considered making it someone’s name. Interesting that this Rainbow brought bad news instead of the traditional pot of gold.
Very well written ,as usual. I guess the punishment for doing the right thing when it’s not popular is universal.
Here’s mine if anyone is still making the rounds: http://melodypearson.com/flash-fiction/may-18-2012-rainbows/
Thank you for your sincere comments and for coming over. Yes; somehow, the last bit of your comments remind me of Henrik Ibsen’s Public Enemy
Oh, how sad, the more so because it’s so real, and your prose is so easy to just take in, like watching a really skilled dancer, I never feel as if the writing was effortful. So lovely.
Kathy
Thanks for your lovely compliment. It means a lot to me, Kathy.
I like this… Rainbow is a great name.
Thanks!
I miss Friday Fictioneers. I have asked for, and been recommended other prompts, but none have inspired me like that one. Have you found any? beebeesworld
No Brenda. I haven’t found any challenge like the Friday Fictioneers. Maybe you could consider going back to them as I have been considering. 🙂