Yeah, as we say in Ghana, ‘aluta continua’; the game continues unabated. Friday Fictioneers are on it again, thanks to the photo prompt by Madison Woods. Check her new blog out. It’s super! I don’t know whether it is exhaustion on my part, but this time, the words refused to flow and I had a hectic time coming out with these. I hope the story is passable. Dear friends, I’m up for constructive critiques and comments. Thank You.
* This is an early post of my story, but certainly I will catch you guys up on Friday)
The Omen
I saw the damselfly the moment I stepped out of the shadows of the trees. I knew it was a good omen. Its movements were hurried, and as I watched it, the angry glare of the sun blinded me and for a moment I couldn’t see. Then swiftly the clouds shifted, covering the harshness, and I saw its gossamer wings shimmering and beckoning.
Mesmerised, I followed as it meandered its way among the rocks, over the streams that gushed out, hissing, spraying rivulets of cold vapour over his body, wedged between two rocks.
I smiled. My husband was alive.
To see what the rest of the Fictioneers are up to, do click on the little linky below. Thanks!
That damselfly was a good omen then! Great story. 🙂
My linky: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/puddle-jump/
Yes, CC. Many thanks for commenting. I’m going over.
This was very good. All your efforts were worth it. I had a bit of trouble this week, too. I don’t know how many times I re-wrote the same bit. My link’s on the Inlinkz list.
Thanks, Lady Marylin. Checking you out.
The damselfly as a good omen. That’s very creative if not informative.
I never really thought of it that way. Perhaps it’s true in some countries.
Mine: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/21/a-silent-moment/
Well, to tell you the truth. I don’t even know the damselfly. I thought it was the dragonfly, This is purely fiction with the plots and characters imaginary. Been over. Yours is good.
Very definitive. Good story Celeste. I’m struggling to come up with something! We’ll see.
Thanks, Nifti. Hope to read yours by tomorrow.
This is a sweet ending story…the description of the swaggering of the fly is captivating and well delivered for me…Should be on tomorrow! Na’night!
Many thanks. Glad you liked it. Hope to read your post tomorrow. Na night lol!
An uplifting story, Celeste. I loved the imagery. Just posted mine.
http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/06/homework.html
Thank you. Glad you stopped by.
I always love happy endings! Mine is on the link or here http://wp.me/p1LMPs-li
So do I. Thanks.
Lucky she followed the damselfly
Yes. The damselfly brought her luck
This is a really good one. You are a great storyteller. Bravo!!!
Thank you, Boomie. You are good too.
Wow…the last line threw me for a loop because it came out of nowhere…but then I realized she saw the damselfly as a positive omen. Nice.
Thank you Lora.
oh now i wanna know why, how…did she want him alive? ahahah i will have imagine
Your guess is as good as mine, Silver Poet. Thanks for coming by
I like what you did with this prompt.
Ow, thanks so much, Karmic Diva.
Omen’s abound all round and we read them and interpret them according to our need at the time. Your story was beautifully done and you have some beautiful imagery going on there too.
Here’s mine: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/06/22/friday-fictioneers-gramps-and-me/
I do appreciate your wonderful comments, Linda. Thanks for coming over. Will be there.
You’re very welcome I mean all the comments I leave 🙂
LOL!
This is poetic… even though you said the words didn’t flow, it does here. I love it. 🙂
Thank you, Elizabeth, as always. I’m happy you love it. Many thanks for the stop over. Have you read my poem ‘A New Dawn’? I would appreciate to have your honest comments on it, if it won’t take too much of your time. Thank you.
Merci! 🙂
A good omen, and a VERY good story! Gorgeous imagery, I could feel the cool relief of the water. It has been said that the dragonfly (and presumably the damselfly) is the messenger of angels, communicating the angels’ meaning to humans. I had that in mind as the protagonist followed the damselfly to her destination — to the surprising and satisfying conclusion of the story.
Thank you so much, Jan, for your nice comments. I never knew of the dragonfly being a messenger of the angels. The idea popped into my head after wrestling with the prompt for a while. I’m glad it had a good impact on readers.
Very nice. Glad to see things worked out for the husband. Nicely written. We all struggle to get the words to flow sometimes, don’t dwell on it and just keep pushing forward.
A double thanks to you, Brandon.
I like the imagery of the omen and the parallel with her stepping into sunlight and at first not being able to see and then it all becoming clear. Like her knowing her man was still alive. Great job.
Mine’s here: http://ajaroffireflies.blogspot.com/2012/06/friday-fictioneers-nymph.html#.T-RfFLVPv0c
Thank you Stacy. Frankly, the parrallel never clicked until you mentioned it. Great of you to make the connection. Many thanks once again.
nice end! I like how it is a good omen..
http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/friday-fictioneers-human/
Thank you, Raina.
Beautiful imagery and so glad that the damselfly was seen as a positive. I always enjoy your work!
Thanks you so much, Joanna. I’m happy you like my humble offerings.
Indeed a good omen. Lovely imagery and it’s always refreshing to have a happy ending.
For your readers here’s mine
http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/damselfly-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction/
Thanks a mil, Tollykit.
Nicely done. I liked the use of gossamer and mesmerized – great words which go well together!
Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/flash-friday-fiction-6/#entry
Thank you Erin. Will be over shortly
I’m not sure what to make of this one. Had to read a few times. I liked the sun and cloud thing.
I wrote without any thought on plot, you know. Funny is it not? What is clear though is that the husband of the protagonist lies hurt somewhere in the stream between two rocks and the damselfly leads her to him. Thanks for coming by.
That’s kind of what I figured out. The damselfly led you to the ending too.
Very creative response to the photo. Did you take this from Ghana folklore or just create it yourself? Either way, it’s a good story. Thanks for reading and commenting on my story.
I created it myself. I was not even sure of the photo. Thought it was a dragonfly. Thank you.
Interesting, creative use of the picture! The ending is a little unclear – I guess the body is her husband, injured but alive? I really like the symbolism of the harsh sun blinding her and then relenting as the clouds shift, allowing her to see the guiding damselfly. (Some indication of her emotions maybe? Anyhow, it feels significant.) Good story.
Thank you for commenting on mine (http://newpillowbook.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/friday-fictioneers-advice/).
Yes, you are right; the husband is injured but alive. Thank you for your nice comments and for coming over.
A descriptive and beautiful fantasy! I enjoyed it.
–Jan
http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/flashfriday-fictioneers-the-damsel-fly-dance/
Thank you, Jan.
Oh so glad for that happy ending. I got worried when she was mesmerized. Nice turn!
Thanks, Kathy. Glad you liked it.
Your story isn’t passable its super, just as I would expect!
Thank you, Gilly. I’m happy to see you here.
Such a great ending. It was a “sign!”
Here is mine!
http://susielindau.com/2012/06/22/stalked-100-word-flash-fiction/
Thanks, Susan. I enjoyed yours too.
Very good story, and descriptive images. A fly bringing one good fortune. My ‘damsel fly’ does the opposite. It can be found here: http://jemj47.wordpress.com
Thank you, Joyce. Will check it out.
Yay! The dragonfly is a good omen! It brought her to her husband! Very well told and I love the descriptions! For those who have not stumbled upon my story, here is the link. http://mahjira.blogspot.com/2012/06/last-warning.html
Thank you, Mahjira. Glad you loved the descriptions. Sorry for the late comment.
Very good use of the blinding sun & covering clounds. I wasn’t sure where this was going until the last line.
Thank you.
Wow I must say this is just amazing, the 1st time I actually understood what omens actually meant was when I read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and is funny because every time I read about them or even hear anything about omen, it makes me feel like it is a good omen too (if that makes sense), I am always left in a joyful mood when this happens because is almost like God is saying I am here, I hear you and I just smile. So your story is a good omen for me. Thank you for sharing.
http://vsichalwe.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/friday-fictioneers-3/
Thank you Viv. I am happy that my story meant something to you.
You are very welcome, Thank you for sharing.
A very positive post! I liked it a lot! 🙂
Parul
http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/06/23/always-close/
Thank you, Parul
oh, okay. i had to read the other comments because i don’t know anything about dragon/damselflies and omens. thanks for the lesson.
Neither do I, Rich. I wrote this from pure imagination. Many thanks.
then you win because i had to look up some info before i had any idea what to write.
Thanks! I feel lazy doing research. lol!
i wouldn’t call it lazy, but that’s just me. we can all do whatever works for us individually.
Rich, what I mean is that I’m lazy so I hardly research anything on the net, I mean I hardly google. You know it hardly occurs to me to do so. I can’t be bothered. but I guess that would have to change if I am to be taken serioulsy as a writer.
Nice story, although as someone else mentioned, I think there could be some indication of her feelings of anxiety about her husband before we reach the revelation at the end, just to build a little tension!
Thanks, Monique. I was constrained by the 100 words. Your suggestion is well noted.
Isn’t it strange how different ones of us struggle with different pictures? And sometimes the struggle itself produces great results. This story was packed with imagery and I liked the last line which gave it so much more weight than a simple walk in the woods.
I did get a little confused by the bit about the blinding sun. She’s seeing, then she’s not seeing, then she’s seeing again but your words suggest it isn’t again. I have explained that incredibly badly, but hopefully you can read between my ramblings and take a more useful concrit from it!!
I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/friday-fiction-the-crossing/
Thank you for your suggestions. Glad you came over.
This was a beautiful story of omens and their power in everyday life. All we have to do is open ourselves to them.
(Think about how the word ‘among’ the rocks instead of ‘through’ the rocks sounds. Food for thought. Thanks for letting me share.)
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/kaleidoscope/ I thank you for visiting already. I appreciate it. D.
Thanks Doug, for everything.
Well done!
So, we used similar words in this weeks challenge, gossamer and mesmerised, and I find that very interesting. Any thoughts on that? They are not the first words that leap to mind or else others would have used them too.
http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/flash-fiction-friday-shearing-placid/
Ha ha ha! It seems we are on the same wavelength and are unique. Thanks for visiting, JK.
It seems like it was worth the struggle. Amazing story. You should write mystery novels you real know how to introduce a twist. Loved it. Thank you for sharing.
Regards,
BC
http://reeflections.wordpress.com/
Thank you for your lovely comments, BC. I may conisder your suggestion. Many thanks for coming over. I appreciate it.
Just poking into past stories. I like this just the way it is.
Thanks for you visits.
Good luck with that conference. Cheers.
Thank you, Jules. 🙂