Thank God it’s Friday and time for the fun. Friday Fictioneers, here we come! Thanks to the photo prompt by Madison Woods, this time I’m coming out with a poem, a hot one if I say so myself. Check out Madison’s new blog. It’s pretty cool! Without much ado, do read on, my dear friends. I’d be grateful for your honest opinions and critique.
SeductionHer startling beauty Beckoned Mesmerised, I followed Her luscious body Invited, Tantalized I was hooked Her full lips, Sinfully wanton Pouted, And I ached To kiss her She oozed Appeal She was Sweetness And I lost My mind She tasted Of berries, Ripened, red She tasted Of vanilla And I yearned To make Her mine But her eyes Were ice, Green, mamba Yet like The fresh leaves On a dewy morn They sliced Hot sparks Through me Stopping me Dead And I gasped Feeling faint Her come-hither-smile Drew me in Offering me The apple, Red, like her lips The Seductress (c) Celestine Nudanu 28/06/12 To see what the rest of the Fictioneers are up to, do click on the little linky below. Thanks!
Lady Marilyn Kay Dennis said:
Sultry! Mine’s on the list.
Thanks, Lady Marylin. Will check it out soon
But her eyes,
You’ve given me a craving for ice-cream. Lots of ice-cream
Thanks, Nana. lol! That was my intention
Nice, visuals and symbols in this poem. Liked it much.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/may-the-punishment-fit/
Thank you. I’ll hop over soon
This is really good, your stuff is always really vivid 🙂 http://kaitlinandmichaelbranch.com/2012/06/29/friday-fictioneers-8/
Thank you, Kaitlin. Glad you found this good.
Adam Ickes said:
Very well written. It seems the temptress has a firm hold on her prey.
Yes, she does. Many thanks for coming by.
WOW – Hot!
Isn’t it? Thanks, Rosy
Joanna (Lazuli Portals) said:
Really nicely done. 🙂 Good job I’ve had lunch already else I’d be looking for ice-cream now lol.
We’re Linked and we’re also here direct: http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/fight-or-flight
I love ice cream. Thanks Joanna. Will be over.
Sexy hot :)!
Real hot! Thanks, Boomie.
That girl is dangerous! Poetry snaps for this.
Real dangerous. Thanks.
Here’s by linky too: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/pick-me/
Green mamba…I sense the danger there. Very evocative, loved the connection you made to the picture.
For others, mine is here: http://wp.me/p1Wqon-bl
Yes, ther danger is real. Glad you liked this.
Steven S. Walsky said:
You painted a real picture, bery nice.
Thank you Steven
Wow celeste. I don’t think I’ve ready any sexy posts from you before, but I like. It is hot!
Thank you, Nkem. Yours is hotter.
Jan Brown said:
Yes, you’re right — hot!
Thank you, Jan
Ice, Green, Mamba…. What lovely, perfect imagery. Loved this poem and your take on the prompt.
Thank you for stopping by Here and Now over at Ironwoodwind. I appreciate the feedback.
Thank you, kind sir. I’m glad I was able to please you.
Ilyan Kei Lavanway said:
Romantic! Beautifully poetic.
Thank you, Ilvan. Glad you found the poem beautiful. I appreciate your stop over.
Brian Benoit said:
Nice job, I love how the poem scans, the short stammering lines. Really active descriptions too — seductive!
Thanks for your comment on mine.
I’m happy you like this, Brian. Thank you for coming by.
Reblogged this on onlinefunland.
Thank you, my dear, for this honour.
You know what? I think you just gave me an Idea for my look tonight. It was hot, sultry and sensual. It was just awesome. I have a very real desire to go for that at Karaoke tonight.
Thanks for commenting on my blog. Here’s the link for others to hop: http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/06/flash-fictioneer-friday-berries-and-pip.html
LOL! I’m all smiles over here, Atiya. Glad this humbel offering had such a teasing impact on you. Let your hair down, babe!
I loved it, especially the title. One suggestion; change morning to morn at the end of the 4th stanza.
thanks for visiting & commenting on mine
Glad you love it, Russel. I’m thankful for your suggestion which has been taken in good in faith. Merci.
There are some poems that I read, where after I finish, I just have to close my eyes and envision the images. Then, I read it again and stare with my mouth open. This was one of those poems. So beautiful.
Here is my simple tanka:
Oh, Jan. I’m tickled you find this poem so beautiful. I’m just awed at the effect. Many thanks.
Nice! I was not expecting the Adam and Eve twist at the end. Good work. I also liked “Green, mamba” a lot—it contrasted very well with “Ripened, red” and the fact that the example (mamba) reversed positions with the colour (red) worked very well to flash “evil” at me.
Stacey, thanks for the lovely analyses. Glad you liked it.
You are quite the poetess… Love it. 😉
Thank you , Elizabeth
Kathy McClure said:
You had me at the title! And I loved the winding road of the poem. I am also fond of the ‘green, mamba’ bringing in the serpent. In a way, the poem coils through the nature of seduction. And like some of your other verse, makes me start looking for that fan. HOT!
Kathy, I like your beautiful angle ‘in a way, the poem coils through the nature of seduction.’ you’re so right. Thank you for loving my poem.
What a turn on. Very sensual. Great descriptive words. Thanks for reading and commenting on my story.
Thank you, kind sir.
Susan Wenzel (@SusanWenzel) said:
I loved the icy green eyes. Woman, thy seductress…tempt me not!
How right. get thee behind me, satan! Love your little bit. many thanks.
Karmic Diva said:
I read it twice. It’s one of my favorites today.
Glad the magic worked on you, Karmic Diva. Many thanks
very powerful, seems raspberries stir passion. I really liked it, but as someone pointed out about my poem recently, it tended to be a little heavy on cliche, ie “oozed appeal” – – still very nice
Thanks for your lovely comments. Hmm, I couldn’t think of a better phrase. I’m afraid the cliche will have to stand today, though I hate too much of it myself.
Lora Mitchell said:
How seductive…is her name EVE??? Tks for reading mine.
Lora, You’re spot on. I actually thought of Eve as the ttile of the poem.
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said:
Powerful! I can only echo what’s been said. Beautiful and deadly, Celestine.
Many thanks, Rochelle.
There’s such a lot of imagery in this; I was caught up in it, and had to go back to read it again. Nice one.
Thank you, Sandra.
Really lovely visuals here and definitely sultry.
And for your readers here’s mine 🙂
Thanks. I appreciate your coming by.
He never had a chance! Lovely!
I agree. Many thanks
Gilly Gee said:
Reading Pleasure, Like every week, you have done it again. Created a magic that will last longer than any of us mortal beings. The picture of beauty and seduction with the hint of danger is so real that one feels the pull him/herself. The poem itself rhymes and seems to be following all the rules. well and Beautifully done. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks a mil for your beautiful appreciation of the poemm, Bittercharm. I do appreciate it.
Pleasure was all Mine!
The imagery and rhyme here is beautiful! Great, great job! (You need to try the Monday prompt for Reason2Rhyme! http://kbnelson.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/reason-2-rhyme-this-day-in-history/)
Thank you so much, KB. I may try the Reason2Rhyme soon.
Wow, I loved it and the metaphor for tasting ‘life’ against the tasting of ‘berry’ was brilliant 🙂
Many thanks, Linda. Glad you loved it.
You’re very welcome 🙂
George Weaver said:
And to think … I anticipated a poem about a little old lady in a bonnet picking raspberries… Ha Ha. It’s good, Celestine.
George Weaver said:
What I meant to say was that the picture suggests something entirely different to me. I saw a bent and withered old woman in a tattered bonnet painfully and slowly picking berries with her arthritic hands (cotton gloves with the finger tips cut off and frayed from years of use) and seeing herself as the lonely little girl who waited in anticipation for the green berries to turn deliciously red with their bursting skins. She knows that they will dry up too soon and shrivel on the vine so she feels an urgency to live in the moment. Etc., Etc… Does everybody write these hot-blood poems now? Nothing wrong with them, but they make me kind of weary since they speak only to one narrow segment of life. Give me something of reflection, thoughtful, quiet. And not boiling over on the stove! Ha Ha. You say, “write your own, old woman!”
I do like your poetry, Celestine.
You know what, George? I agree with you absolutely on your point. Indeed, these kinds of hotties tend to appeal to only one side of life and senses. And after satisfying them, what next? A lingering taste of what?
No, I won’t ever say write your own, for I love your well thought out constructive comments. They sharpen my rough edges. Incidentally, the story and picture of your bent and shrivelled old woman is sweet and an apt take on the prompt! Thank you, my lovely ‘old woman’.
Thank you, ma’am.
Thank you for reading so many of my blog works_i have learned a lot from your recent posts on the passing of Ghana’s President-and enjoyed your Friday Fictioneer work as well. best Wishes, beebeesworld
Thanks for stopping by. Much appreciated