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This Friday the fun is on at Madison Woods and I am bank with the Friday Fictioneers in full swing having been away last week. Today’s prompt from Lura Helms looks interesting and I could not resist it. So dear friends, here is my humble poem. Do feel free to critique as you comment.
I am a flower Left By the roadside Far From The Great Oak. Sun baked Sweaty Withered A pitiful Pitiable flower. No one Recognises me My startling Beauty Now A faded shadow. Beauty is Fleeting Character Enduring And so I will not Give up I look to the Canopied leaves Swaying Majestically To the rhythm Of the Whispering Breeze Will I find A place To hide Under Their sanctuary I send A silent prayer To the leaves Sweet rustles They hear me Let me find Shelter In the crook Of the Great Oak, Let me find Shelter In your arms (C) Celestine Nudanu 17/08/12To see what the rest of the Fictioneers are up to, do click on the little linky below. Thanks!
boomiebol said:
This is very nice…such beautiful words for a tree that might strike many as anything but beautiful…well done
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, Boomie.
flyoverhere said:
This is beautiful!
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, Lura.
LAND OF FUN said:
Amazing !
readinpleasure said:
Thanks, my dear friend
LAND OF FUN said:
Reblogged this on LAND OF FUN and commented:
This is GREAT !
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, Aman.
kindredspirit23 said:
Very nice picture and feelings produced. You have succeeded in moving me with your poem. Thank you for the link.
Scott
readinpleasure said:
Glad I made an impact on you.
rochellewisoff said:
Beauty is fleeting…character enduring. Well put. Lovely poem, Celestine.
http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/08/casualty-of-war
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, Rochelle
Cindy Marsch said:
I especially like the “And so” that follows those two lines Rochelle noted. Pitiful and pitiable also work together well. Love your juxtapositions!
keliwright said:
Sets me to pondering the nature of beauty. The embracing of a withered, worn out thing so much more beautiful than prettiness. A little criticism–I might reconsider the inclusion of the statement of purpose (3rd stanza). I think your poem speaks for itself, and more cohesively and effectively without the intrusion. Nicely done.
keliwright said:
readinpleasure said:
Thanks a million, Kelli for your kind comments and consrutctive suggestions. Indeed, the third stanza becomes superflous. I may have to think of its replacement though, to make up the 100 words. Again, thank you.
elmowrites said:
I love the mix of destruction and hope in this beautiful poem, Celestine. Character really does endure for this narrator, and I feel she may be much more than a flower.
elmowrites said:
oops! No link!
I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/17/friday-fictioneers-sin/
readinpleasure said:
Been over! Great story, yours
readinpleasure said:
You’re right. The flower is only an analogy. Your comments put a smile on my face. Thanks a mi!
Joanna (Lazuli Portals) said:
This evokes such a beautiful sense of nature taking care of itself as it moves relentlessly through its cycles. I love it.
Thanks for your comment on ours, Celestine 🙂
readinpleasure said:
Thanks Joanna. I’m glad you love this. Your two stories were great too.
Joyce said:
A beautiful way of expressing something that has no seemingly becoming features.
Finding the beauty in this was masterfully done, I think. Very good imagery.
readinpleasure said:
Thanks you so mcuh, Joyce for your lovely comments.
Janet said:
Wonderful imagery. I liked how you turned this dark photo into something beatiful and timeless (as trees have always provided shelter). Nicely done, here’s mine:http://postcardfiction.com/2012/08/17/discovered/
readinpleasure said:
Thank you so much, Janet
erinleary said:
Simply beautiful. It felt like a cool drink of water reading that poem.
readinpleasure said:
Oh, thanks a mil, Erin. Love your comment
RoSy said:
I felt the emotion here as if I were the flower…
Great write!
readinpleasure said:
Ah, Rosy. Thank you for your continuous support
Anne Orchard said:
A very powerful poem. Thanks for stopping by mine too.
readinpleasure said:
You’re welcome. I appreciate your comments, Anne.
Jan Brown said:
This is beautiful. It is also a powerful statement on beauty, what is real beauty, and what is real strength.
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, Jan. And I do agree with your insightful comments.
eof737 said:
This is vivid and sensitively written. I love your imagery and wanted the flower to survive. 😉
readinpleasure said:
lol! I’m happy you love this. I’m always happy when I see you here.
eof737 said:
Likewise… when you visit my blog, dear sister! 🙂
pennycoho said:
Celestine, Most of those I follow, I follow because I enjoy their postings and what and how they express themselves and their creativity. But I will admit that there are a few I follow because I know I will feel better as the result of the visit. You are so very talented! Just felt the need to express this! 🙂
readinpleasure said:
Ow, now I am blushing under my black skin. Truly tickled and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. And I give God the glory for this. Blessings to you my friend.
pennycoho said:
Blessings in return, I find myself to be bountifully blessed with wonderful new like-minded friends such as yourself. Makes my day, every day! 🙂
vbholmes said:
Good imagery: the “Withered,… pitiful, pitiable flower” finding “Shelter In the crook Of the Great Oak.” Nice work..
readinpleasure said:
Thank you
billgncs said:
to write that… you must have a beautiful soul
I very much enjoyed it
readinpleasure said:
Ow, thank you so much for your lovely words
sustainabilitea said:
Lovely! Even if you decide to leave out the third paragraph, you don’t have to replace it. If you can convey your thoughts in less than 100 words, go for it!!
readinpleasure said:
Thanks a million for that angle. I do appreciate it.
Gilly Gee said:
You are so very good at this!
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, Gilly
TheOthers1 said:
I like the fourth stanza. The way it sounds as you read it is awesome.
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, CC.
glossarch said:
I admit I was a little suspicious at first but your poem drew me in. I particularly like the last stanza. The whole poem reminded me of the song “Mon Amie la Rose.”
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, Glossarch
Lora Mitchell said:
Lovely choices for this uplifting poem. Personal note: It seems more and more Fictioneers are turning to poetry. With no offense to anyone, as much as I love poetry, this site is for 100-word short stories and that’s what I prefer to read. Tks for visiting mine.
readinpleasure said:
Thanks, Lora. But me thinks Madison said on her blog that one is free to write the 100 words on any form.
Christina ~ said:
Exquisite 🙂
readinpleasure said:
Thank you Christina. Glad you could make it here. Thanks for the follow. I will come over to yours shortly
Christina ~ said:
I’m so very glad I came too! I absolutely love the way you write…the imagery your words create in my mind…you are so very talented! I’ll look forward to seeing you at my place 🙂 Blessings ~
tollykit said:
Simply beautiful.
http://adrarasdreams.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/fridayfictioneers-blogflash-day-17.html
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, tollykit
Atiya Townes said:
That was so beautiful and rich in imagery and emotions. I was baking in the dirt and thinking of being cool under leaves at the same time. Very moving. I’m glad I stopped by to read yours. I’m number 45 on the list. Have a nice weekend.
readinpleasure said:
Many thanks, Atiya, for lovely words.
1girl4adamwest said:
Your writing is beautiful as always, i adore this writing! It really speaks to my heart.
readinpleasure said:
Ow, I do appreciate your lovely compliment. Thanks a million!
blessedbebeth - Middlescapes.com said:
right to my heart. thank you Celestine for your wisdom, grace, and beauty. blessings to you and your family. Beth
readinpleasure said:
Thank you Beth. Blessings to you too. Hope you are doing fine
blessedbebeth - Middlescapes.com said:
Although still in deep grief, there are ‘time outs’ when I can breathe deeper and think a bit clearer. thanks for the kindness.
Russell said:
that was beautiful. I loved the graceful flow and the heartfelt prayer to the leaves.
thanks for the nice comment on mine.
readinpleasure said:
Russel, Your comments have warmed my heart. Thank you.
The Silver Poet said:
awww little flower. needs a big protective oak. Love your way with words x
readinpleasure said:
Thank you Ana. You are also marvelous with words.
silentlyheardonce said:
This is a very nice sweet and gentle poem.
readinpleasure said:
Thank you Kim. I might have missed this comment until now 🙂
silentlyheardonce said:
Maybe not I have over 500 emails and I’m just reading.
wordcoaster said:
Love the message of this poem–I must say that personally I’m not a huge fan of poems that consist of one or two word lines. But I am definitely in the minority in this modern era. (Especially looking at the number of likes). Keep writing; I’ll keep reading 🙂
readinpleasure said:
Ow, thank you so much, WordCoaster for such lovely words. 🙂
johannisthinking@wordpress.com; pedalpushingthoughts@wordpresss.com said:
dear Celestine, the journey of a flower…the journey of you…the questions within us of our own innate goodness, the need for affirmation…the need for sanctuary…so beautifully expressed! You reveal your delicate, gentle soul, dear friend of the typed key!
readinpleasure said:
Ow, thank you so dearest Jane 🙂
johannisthinking@wordpress.com; pedalpushingthoughts@wordpresss.com said:
I shared your poem on my Facebook page! I will continue to share your wonderful writing there– my friends will come to know you and appreciate you and your writing! My Facebook name is: Jane H. Johann…if you want to “friend” me. Have a great day!
readinpleasure said:
You honour me so much, Jane and I’m most grateful! 🙂 I will ‘friend’ you on Facebook my friend. Lovely weekend to you.
Pingback: #FridayFictioneers – The Withered Flower | johannisthinking
advocatemmmohan said:
Reblogged this on aksharaalu – Best Collections.
readinpleasure said:
Thank you so much, Mohan.