Hi folks, it’s time for the fun-filled Friday Fictioneers and today, the prompt from Raina Ng is so interesting with many possibilities. Thanks to Madison Woods, here is another opportunity for us to showcase our 100 words short story, so Kindly read on and offer your crits and comments. Thanks a mil. 🙂
The empty room stared at Kuks and she blinked back the tears. It hurt so much to find him and everything gone from her life, just like that, even that heady musky smell of him that she loved to inhale so much was missing.
He had wanted to leave her, ever since he found out that she lied to him about the pregnancy. But she had only aborted it against his wishes because she wasn’t ready for a baby. Her job came first.
And now, even the traditional kitchen, where she had conceived the baby felt empty, like her heart.
To see what the rest of the Fictioneers are up to, do click on the little linky below. Thanks!
Jan Morrill said:
Funny, Celestine. This was the first thought that came to my mind when looking at the empty kitchen. For some reason, maybe I didn’t want to delve into the lonely feeling, I changed my mind on what to write. But, I loved your take. 🙂
Thank you, Jan. So sorry for the late response.
Oh wow! Nothing traditional about that kitchen in my opinion lol…risky business going on there lol. Seriously this is lovely.
A very unique take on it…feel bad for them both. And this is reality for many too. Very well written as always Cestone. You often manage to take it from a very orignial angle…bravo. I like this very much.
Hugs for a great weekend!
Thank you so much, wonderful friend. Please ingore the late response. 🙂
Jessica Schira said:
I like the fact that she sought out the kitchen when it came to dealing with such a tough situation. It ties into the whole theory that everything important always happens in the heart of the house. Nice job!
Thank you, Jessie.
Your tale of loss piled upon loss is a real heartwrencher. What job is worth that? Still, he should be there to console her, not gone with the wind…
Ah, did Rhet Butler do a vanishing act? I don’t know, Doug, never having read the novel. 🙂 Thanks. 🙂
Wow! Talk about touching on heavy emotions. What a mess her life is all of a sudden. Great job on this.
Thank you, CC, as always. 🙂
in the kitchen where she conceived the baby…i want to read THAT 100 words too!
Oh Rich. Thanks a mil. 🙂
Joanna (Lazuli Portals) said:
Gosh, the choices we make, the losses we take. So sad, Celeste.
But I see Mr Rich has requested an extra piece from you *chortle*
Thanks for visiting and letting me know yours was up; I would not have wanted to miss it. 🙂
Thank you Joanna, for your lovely support, always. 🙂
Wow! Talk about a fire in the kitchen!
Yeah, very hot. 🙂
Susan L Daniels said:
Celestine–this is lovely. The voyeur in me wants to know what exactly was cooking in that kitchen…
Ha ha ha! Certainly not only food, Susan. 🙂
Celestine a powerfully well written piece with an emotional tug at the heart. beautiful blessed weekend:)
Thanks a million, Len. Hope your weekend was relaxing.
Based on the comments, we are going to have to have another kitchen prompt. This is beautifully written, Celestine. My only critique would be to remove the words,”from her life” in the first paragraph.
Thank you, Russel. Suggestion taken.
Tom Poet said:
Getting down in kitchen suddenly has a new meaning for me…nice work.
Oh Tom, thanks for the comments. 🙂
Jan Brown said:
Sad, powerful, beautiful. A tale of misplaced love.
Thank you, Jan.
You worked a lot into this story, and that’s hard to do in so few words. You explain very well why the break-up happened. I have a strong musky smell if she’s looking for a replacement. Ron
Oh Ron, maybe I will take up that offer myself. 🙂 So sorry for the late response.
you open up so many possibilities here – was it his baby? did he doubt that it was? Her sense of loss is palpable – not an easy decision for any woman, and now she has lost so much.
It was his baby and he wantd her to keep it, but she went behind him for an abortion and he left her as a result of that and also becuase she lied to him. Thank you for the comments. 🙂
Oh well… Life is complicated, isn’t it.
Thank you, Parul
Lucid Gypsy said:
It does look like a very lonely room, you have tapped into the atmosphere very well.
Thank you Gilly. 🙂
Charles Oyeleke Williams said:
Finally found my way here, This is beautiful and real….but why would she do that? Says more about the infiltration of foreign culture and the new global trends-where women can stand for themselves…I wish her goodies all through!
Welcome, Charles. You’ve been missed. 🙂
A sad little story. I will say that her behavior confuses me a bit – to me, “lying to him about the pregnancy” suggests that she pretended to be pregnant when she really wasn’t, but clearly that isn’t what happened. On the other hand, if she was going to “abort it against his wishes”, would she let him know about it in the first place?
But you do a good job of dramatizing the picture – it does look somehow desolate and abandoned, doesn’t it?
No she wouldn’t let him know about the abortion if he was against it. he found out later. Thank you for your comments and sorry for the late response. 🙂
Very good, plus I’m with Rich, there’s another 100 words there that we’re waiting to see. Blokes eh?
I’m certainly no punctuation expert, in fact quite the opposite, but does it need an extra comma in that last sentence after ‘baby’?? Maybe even a dash? What do you think?
Thank you so much for commenting. Your suggestion has been noted. 🙂
An empty rom full of sadness & loss…
Rosie, thank you. 🙂
Both nurturing places in her life … empty. Good job.
Thank you. 🙂
Stefan (maxima) said:
Your posts are wonderful , I love your blog, and I’m proud of it
Thank you very much for sharing it with us. With love, Maxima
Your lovely suport of my works is highly appreciated, Maxima. 🙂
Sarah Paige Berling said:
Wowza! Wasn’t expecting that! I felt that you could have even said less and still gotten the point across, but I loved what you did with it in any case. Well done!
Thank you, Sarah. 🙂
Very strong take on the prompt; nicely done.
Thank you, Sandra
Powerful words, heart-breaking. You truly are a gifted writer.
Sassy, your words haverput a smile on my face. 🙂 Thank you.
Swirling Turnip said:
Hearth-wrenching. I hope she will be happy with her job, and job alone. So sad.
Yes, very sad. Many thanks. 🙂
ooohhh…this is so good i wanted to read on. plus the protagonist had my nickname so obviously i was invested that way as well. 🙂
You know when I was wrote the name, I thought of you. Many thanks KK. And welcome home. 🙂
How sad. I think there’s more than 100 more words to this story. Very powerful, Celestine.
Thank you, Rochelle. Sorry for the late response.
The Writers Village said:
Dark kitchens can have some dark consequences, and
table tops can be particularly devastating it seems.
Ha ha ha! I do love your comment so. 🙂
Daniel Bowman said:
You really capture that sense of one choice haunting us forever. A powerful story for just 100 words. Good job and thanks for visiting mine!
Thank you too, Daniel, for your wonderful comment.
You held my attention from start to finish yet again! Interesting totally!
Thank you, my dear friend. 🙂
in so few words you touch so many emotions. An excellent job.
Thank you so much for your kind words 🙂
Sharmishtha Basu said:
well written one celestine- how do you join it? i will love to join it for sure (if possible)
Thank you Sharmishtha. Here is the link to her blog. http://madison-woods.com/. Browse through her blog and have your feel and then you can follow her for the prompts for the FF which comes off on Wednesdays. Good luck. 🙂
Shirley McCann said:
Such a sad story. And so lonely.
Thank you, Shirley.
The Silver Poet said:
oh boo hoo… wheres your book? you should write one if you havent already
Soon my sister, very soon. 🙂
The Silver Poet said:
Lora Mitchell said:
Sad and heart wrenching. Seems she has many things to think about besides loneliness. I had to keep rereading the last line to make sense of it. Maybe it needs clearer punctuation. Regardless, nice work.
Thank you, Lora. 🙂
I like it. A short story well told, emotionally poignant. And unique, well done Celestine, take care of you my friend it was nice visiting! Penny 🙂
Thanks a million, Penny. 🙂
I haven’t checked the comments (so I apologize if this is a repeat) but where did “Kuks” come from? That’s one of the more unusual names I’ve run across. 🙂 I’m also really curious what profession she is in (paramedic? porn star?) and if it was the type of profession, or just trying to get ahead in her career, that led her to that choice. I hope it isn’t a decision she regrets later in life (for the child, not the relationship).
Stacey, Kuks is short form of Kukua, a pet name for a girl born on Wednesday by the Fantes in Ghana. Well as to the profession, it could be any in the country and certainly not porn star (wherever did you get that idea from? There is nothing like that in my counrty. 🙂 ) She could regret that decision to abort as is more often the case. Thank you for commenting.
I love that they have pet names for people born on different days of the week. Very cool. [I was trying to think of professions where pregnancy might be a real issue (although, to be fair, I didn’t do any research, I just grabbed that one out of thin air).]
I like it and the kitchen too. 😉
Thank you, Elizabeth.
Wasn’t expecting that. Nice well write and strong take on the prompt.
Thank you for your comment, Elaine.
Anne Orchard said:
A sad story of a breakdown in communication leading to a broken relationship. I think that kitchen needs some happier times.
Sorry for taking so long to get back to your story. Soon we will be doing it all again!
Thank you for your comments, Ann. Indeed, Kitchens are for happy times. Hoping to read yours soon. 🙂
Nan Falkner said:
Dear Celestine, Great story and so very sad! Kitchens are for happy times but every once in awhile, something horrible happens in it and it changes the feeling of the room forever.. Well done! Nan
Thank you so much, Nan. It’s great seeing you here. 🙂