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It’s yet another Friday and the Fictionners are busy with their 100 words, thanks to Madison Woods and the interesting prompt from Jan Morril. Here is my humble offering. Crits and comments are welcome, please.
I want Out
I made my decision the moment Chris came through the door. He had that look on his face again; I had called it the fatal look the first time I met him, for I had fallen hopelessly for him when he had sliced my heart with that saber sharp glance full of mischief, mystery, and warmth.
Ignoring him, I made for the bedroom. Perplexed, he followed me and asked, rather tiredly. “What is it this time, Manuela?”
“It’s over, Chris. I want out.”
He laughed chillingly. “Oh, which way would you prefer, through the back alley, or the long drop from the roof top?”
To see what the rest of the Fictioneers are up to, do click on the little linky below. Thanks!
Sounds like she’s about to “fall” for him again. Nice job. I’m #17 this week. Seems that some of us should be called Thursday Fictioneers.
I’ve noticed the tendency for a lot of people to post early as well. I have to admit I did this week. I had free time on Thursday and knew I wouldn’t be able to post early on Friday. I really need to set up and automatic publication tool
A very fatal look by the sound of things. Very good.
Thank you. 🙂
You know, there are some guys who just can’t handle rejection. Sadly, for her. Nice one.
Many thanks, Sandra.
This is very very good Cestone. I loved what you have offered this week, mighty grand and well done.
Thanks a million, my sister. 🙂
In my movie, she shoots him now.
Scott
Good one!
or waits till he is asleep and crowns him with a frying pan! good story — I felt the tension
Wouldn’t be too bad if she shot him. Ouch! A hot frying pan!
Oooh, his warmth has disappeared! Very chilling in the end.
Yes. Thank you, Jan.
Very powerful and emotive! I want to slap Chris.
Loved this! Great writing as always! 🙂
Glad you love this, Parul. Thnaks. 🙂
I don’t think she’s leaving. I think this happens every couple of days.
It’s open to interpretation which makes it an interesting piece.
Spot on! 🙂
Kinda reminds me of my first ex. ;-( I hope he’s the one to take the long drop. Nice job.
Thanks for the comments on mine.
You’re welcome, Maggie. Thanks.
“…he had sliced my heart with that saber sharp glance full of mischief, mystery, and warmth.” Wow. No wonder she’s in this mess….
Ha ha ha! Who can resist such a glance?
Oh! This was very, very good. I wonder which way she left by?
Thank you, Susan. She probably never left at all.:-) (sorry for the late response)
Ohhhhhhhhhh….I wonder which way she chose.
She probably never left. 🙂
I love that first speech line especially. “It’s over.” Probably because it impressed the most, despite the title giving the premise away.
Thankyou. 🙂
Wow RP (we have the same initials) this is packed with great writing and flows beautifully start to finish. Oh, the dangers of love, and how vulnerable it makes us. Great writing! Ron
Thankyou so much, Ron. (sorry for the late response) 🙂
Love the play on the meaning of the phrase, “I want out.”
Thank you.
I think I just posted on the wrong page. Something looked weird, but I loved this story. Especially the last line. Such a nice person to give a choice! Or not.
Yes, Shirlery, I noticed the error and I’ve deleted the comment, which you have captured here. Thanks for commenting. 🙂
Shriek! There’s a reason our mother’s warn us about these guys!
But do we ever listen? Thanks for cming by.
I love this line “I had fallen hopelessly for him when he had sliced my heart with that saber sharp glance full of mischief, mystery, and warmth.” Also, the “what is it this time?” question shows a lot about him and their relationship. Really imaginative story.
I like your analysis of the relationship. Appreciates your commenting, Sheila. 🙂
Oh My Gosh, I was once married to this guy!! The emotion in this piece is so powerful, you mastered those emotions and pulled me right into the room with them! Great write!!!! this is a 5 gold star piece.
Thank you, Len for your beautifui comment. 🙂 (sorry for the late response)
no problem such a great write enjoyed it very much!
Well written. I’m betting there was a lot of back story here as to why she wanted out. I guess his actions didn’t live up to her hopes. Thanks for visiting mine too.
Thanks for commenting, Ann. 🙂
Brief but Solid!!! Cheers Nonoy Manga
Thank you, Nonoy.
Wow, RP! Intense and tragic. Neither option is very good! Well done!
Many thanks, Bumble Flies. I agree with you on the options.
Ooh, what’s Manuela going to do next? Great setup, and really jumped right in to the interesting dynamic of their relationship. Nice job!
Thank you, Brian
I hope she didn’t pick the rooftop! Really liked this story. Nicely done here.
Neither option is appealing. Thanks, CC, as always. 🙂
Wonder if it’s over and she really wants “out” or it’s just their weekly sex game to spice up their relationship? Hm….. something to ponder. Nice work.
Your guess is as good as mine. 🙂 Thanks.
fantastic one Celestine!
Thank you, Sharmishtha.
oh crap. this will not end easily. i pray for her. well done.
LOL! Thanks, Rich. You’re right. If I decide to extend it, I could play with other scenarios.:-)
Whew!
Yeah! 🙂
Beautifjul. Especially liked: “…sliced my heart with that saber sharp glance.” Yes, a single look can certainly cut.
Thankyou for the lovely comment, Jan. 🙂
A good picture of mental abuse IMHO. Please leave him.
You’re right, Brudberg, before it’s too late. 🙂
It sounds like she needs more than to drop him (A means to defend herself) while shielding her heart? His chilling, sarcastic reply makes me wonder what things really roll through his mind. Good story.
Not anything good is my guess. Thanks you, Joyce, as always.
What a creepy guy! I like how the story turns frightening right at the very end. This Chris is definitely the wrong man to love. One suggestion: cut out ‘chillingly.’ It’s implied by the following sentence. Thanks for stopping by at mine and I enjoyed reading yours!
Appreciates your suggestion. 🙂
nice interesting post
Thank you
Your usual good job on a slightly dark piece. Sounds like he’s the “you only leave on my terms” kind of guy.
Thank you April. Quite the chauvinist I must say.
Sounds like a real Mr evil eye:) Nicely done.
Oh Tigerbrite, nice to see you here. Many thanks for commenting.
Talk about a cliff-hanger ending. I can’t wait till the next episode to find out which way she chose.
Thank you, Russel. 🙂
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I like that…. Great retort. 😉
Thanks. 🙂