This week’s Ligo Haibun prompts are The sun or Childhood memory of summer camps. Well, since I’ve never been to a summer camp I opted for the first prompt 🙂
The Sun
She laid awake, her mind refusing to succumb to sleep. Shivering, she pulled the cover cloth tighter round her body, casting a disgusting look at her inert husband. His snore could wake the child they had buried only the previous week.
In the next room, her other four children were fast asleep; the night before she had fed them the last cornmeal. There was no more food and that meant only one thing. The fights would resume in earnest. Outside, the rain continued to fall with urgency and consistency, desperate in its bid to blot out much-needed rays. Sighing, she contemplated her lot. Will the sun ever blaze in her life?
hollow eyes stare mirror her desperation Dying embers
A sad tale nonetheless but expertly told! Did I make sense? I love your haiku and the Ligo Haibun prompt! Have a great week!
🙂
Yes you made beautiful sense my dear. Thank you as always. You have a lovely weekend too 🙂
This is the way for so many 😦
Sadly yes 🙂
Oh you let the information out in little, dastardly doses…and the tragedy unfolded,and unfolded….heavily…really well-done. We are still trying to decide whose haibun get a mention last week, but meanwhile really liked yours a lot and appreciate your writing with ligo.
Thank you so much Managua. This Ligo thing is really exciting but at the same time very challenging. I’m trying to perfect my haiku/haibun with Ray of Haibun Today 🙂
Just don’t leave us at Ligo! There is also Haibun Online, linked at my weebly Ligo page. Will get link. Meanwhile…still time to do firefly prompt…http://chevrefeuillescarpediem.blogspot.fi/2013/06/carpe-diem-221-hotaru-firefly.html
I will never leave you, Managua. Ouch, don’t I sound like a woman in love? 🙂
You sound just fine to me! Here’s the other Haibun place..but I can promise you more fame..heehee!
http://contemporaryhaibunonline.com/
I visited your haiku blog but can’t find the comment section
Yeah..get fed up trying to catch up..hid it!
Oh, I see
Very nicely unfolded truth. Good work, Celestine.
Thank you 🙂
A great write!
A sad way to live.
I wish the sun could shine on everyone always.
Me too, Rosy 🙂
Wow, don’t mean to intrude on you and Managua’s intimate conversation (lol) but I agree completely with him about your haibun this week Celestine! Wonderful, with your words of such compelling sadness. Life’s realities. So very well done!
Thank you, Penny
amazing. well-expressed anguish of a woman in the grip of poverty and the haiku is perfect
Thank you so much, Nightlake
Oh, oh. My heart hurt reading this for her for the children, for the unfairness that poverty allows.
Wow.
Thank you, Kir. I’m so glad to have you here 🙂
and I was so glad to visit. Your words were just captivating. Thanks for the warm welcome!
That is so sad, but wonderfully told.
Thanks, Nana
I love how you ended this…with hope. If you ask this, “Sighing, she contemplated her lot. Will the sun ever blaze in her life?”…then you still have hope. Beautifully written!
Glad for your comments, my wonderful friend. 🙂
this story made me shiver! it’s really scary and expertly told.
Thank you, Kz
You write so well, Celestine.
Thank you Sharifah. I’m most appreciative of your lovely support, always 🙂
Wow … that flash fiction is stellar
Thanks a million, Stacy
My heart was moved for this woman and her children. I’ve been there a long time ago. You captured the hopelessness of her situation well.
I think this has universal applications. 🙂 A sad situation indeed. Thank you for coming by, Lyn
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I love where the prompt took you – even though it was terribly sad. You captured so well that painful situation.
Thank you so much, Steph.
So desperately sad. Your description of the husband’s snore is great, in a dispiriting way.
Thank you Sarah 🙂
Your ending line was so telling regarding how humans think – will the sun “blaze.” As much as we often desire the opposite of what we’re experiencing (and this family surely needs relief), the “blaze” would be just as detrimental. Well expressed.
Glad for your visit and comment, 🙂
Congrats! http://www.yakutia-coppercure.co.uk/haibun.html#.UcSp6vlM_c9
Thanks a million, Managua 🙂
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You wrote this so well…I could feel the desperation coming through your words. A parent’s nightmare for sure, especially when you think basic needs cannot be met.
You are right and it is a situation that no parent ought to go through, but alas 🙂 Thanks for coming over.
you’re welcome! oh, and congratulations! ♥
Thank you;, my friend 🙂
❤
I have much catching up to do…Will I ever?
While your story bodes of too much rain, there are those places where there is too much sun. With the same haiku conclustion.
Thank you for your visti to my sun haibun.
There must be a balance, Jules 🙂 Glad you stopped by