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It’s yet another Friday and the Fictionners are busy with their 100 words, thanks to Madison Woods and the interesting prompt from Jan Morril. Here is my humble offering. Crits and comments are welcome, please.
I want Out
I made my decision the moment Chris came through the door. He had that look on his face again; I had called it the fatal look the first time I met him, for I had fallen hopelessly for him when he had sliced my heart with that saber sharp glance full of mischief, mystery, and warmth.
Ignoring him, I made for the bedroom. Perplexed, he followed me and asked, rather tiredly. “What is it this time, Manuela?”
“It’s over, Chris. I want out.”
He laughed chillingly. “Oh, which way would you prefer, through the back alley, or the long drop from the roof top?”
To see what the rest of the Fictioneers are up to, do click on the little linky below. Thanks!
rochellewisoff said:
Sounds like she’s about to “fall” for him again. Nice job. I’m #17 this week. Seems that some of us should be called Thursday Fictioneers.
April Galloway (@AMelodyGalloway) said:
I’ve noticed the tendency for a lot of people to post early as well. I have to admit I did this week. I had free time on Thursday and knew I wouldn’t be able to post early on Friday. I really need to set up and automatic publication tool
writeondude said:
A very fatal look by the sound of things. Very good.
readinpleasure said:
Thank you. 🙂
Sandra said:
You know, there are some guys who just can’t handle rejection. Sadly, for her. Nice one.
readinpleasure said:
Many thanks, Sandra.
boomiebol said:
This is very very good Cestone. I loved what you have offered this week, mighty grand and well done.
readinpleasure said:
Thanks a million, my sister. 🙂
kindredspirit23 said:
In my movie, she shoots him now.
Scott
RoSy said:
Good one!
billgncs said:
or waits till he is asleep and crowns him with a frying pan! good story — I felt the tension
readinpleasure said:
Wouldn’t be too bad if she shot him. Ouch! A hot frying pan!
Jan Brown said:
Oooh, his warmth has disappeared! Very chilling in the end.
readinpleasure said:
Yes. Thank you, Jan.
Parul said:
Very powerful and emotive! I want to slap Chris.
Loved this! Great writing as always! 🙂
readinpleasure said:
Glad you love this, Parul. Thnaks. 🙂
Perry Block (@PerryBlock) said:
I don’t think she’s leaving. I think this happens every couple of days.
It’s open to interpretation which makes it an interesting piece.
readinpleasure said:
Spot on! 🙂
unspywriter said:
Kinda reminds me of my first ex. ;-( I hope he’s the one to take the long drop. Nice job.
Thanks for the comments on mine.
readinpleasure said:
You’re welcome, Maggie. Thanks.
vbholmes said:
“…he had sliced my heart with that saber sharp glance full of mischief, mystery, and warmth.” Wow. No wonder she’s in this mess….
readinpleasure said:
Ha ha ha! Who can resist such a glance?
Susan L Daniels said:
Oh! This was very, very good. I wonder which way she left by?
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, Susan. She probably never left at all.:-) (sorry for the late response)
RoSy said:
Ohhhhhhhhhh….I wonder which way she chose.
readinpleasure said:
She probably never left. 🙂
littlewonder2 said:
I love that first speech line especially. “It’s over.” Probably because it impressed the most, despite the title giving the premise away.
readinpleasure said:
Thankyou. 🙂
bridgesareforburning said:
Wow RP (we have the same initials) this is packed with great writing and flows beautifully start to finish. Oh, the dangers of love, and how vulnerable it makes us. Great writing! Ron
readinpleasure said:
Thankyou so much, Ron. (sorry for the late response) 🙂
sustainabilitea said:
Love the play on the meaning of the phrase, “I want out.”
readinpleasure said:
Thank you.
Shirley McCann said:
I think I just posted on the wrong page. Something looked weird, but I loved this story. Especially the last line. Such a nice person to give a choice! Or not.
readinpleasure said:
Yes, Shirlery, I noticed the error and I’ve deleted the comment, which you have captured here. Thanks for commenting. 🙂
Kathy McClure said:
Shriek! There’s a reason our mother’s warn us about these guys!
readinpleasure said:
But do we ever listen? Thanks for cming by.
Sheila said:
I love this line “I had fallen hopelessly for him when he had sliced my heart with that saber sharp glance full of mischief, mystery, and warmth.” Also, the “what is it this time?” question shows a lot about him and their relationship. Really imaginative story.
readinpleasure said:
I like your analysis of the relationship. Appreciates your commenting, Sheila. 🙂
lenwilliamscarver said:
Oh My Gosh, I was once married to this guy!! The emotion in this piece is so powerful, you mastered those emotions and pulled me right into the room with them! Great write!!!! this is a 5 gold star piece.
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, Len for your beautifui comment. 🙂 (sorry for the late response)
lenwilliamscarver said:
no problem such a great write enjoyed it very much!
Anne Orchard said:
Well written. I’m betting there was a lot of back story here as to why she wanted out. I guess his actions didn’t live up to her hopes. Thanks for visiting mine too.
readinpleasure said:
Thanks for commenting, Ann. 🙂
nonoymanga said:
Brief but Solid!!! Cheers Nonoy Manga
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, Nonoy.
The Bumble Files said:
Wow, RP! Intense and tragic. Neither option is very good! Well done!
readinpleasure said:
Many thanks, Bumble Flies. I agree with you on the options.
Brian Benoit said:
Ooh, what’s Manuela going to do next? Great setup, and really jumped right in to the interesting dynamic of their relationship. Nice job!
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, Brian
TheOthers1 said:
I hope she didn’t pick the rooftop! Really liked this story. Nicely done here.
readinpleasure said:
Neither option is appealing. Thanks, CC, as always. 🙂
Lora said:
Wonder if it’s over and she really wants “out” or it’s just their weekly sex game to spice up their relationship? Hm….. something to ponder. Nice work.
readinpleasure said:
Your guess is as good as mine. 🙂 Thanks.
Sharmishtha Basu said:
fantastic one Celestine!
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, Sharmishtha.
rich said:
oh crap. this will not end easily. i pray for her. well done.
readinpleasure said:
LOL! Thanks, Rich. You’re right. If I decide to extend it, I could play with other scenarios.:-)
Lucid Gypsy said:
Whew!
readinpleasure said:
Yeah! 🙂
Jan Morrill said:
Beautifjul. Especially liked: “…sliced my heart with that saber sharp glance.” Yes, a single look can certainly cut.
readinpleasure said:
Thankyou for the lovely comment, Jan. 🙂
brudberg said:
A good picture of mental abuse IMHO. Please leave him.
readinpleasure said:
You’re right, Brudberg, before it’s too late. 🙂
Joyce said:
It sounds like she needs more than to drop him (A means to defend herself) while shielding her heart? His chilling, sarcastic reply makes me wonder what things really roll through his mind. Good story.
readinpleasure said:
Not anything good is my guess. Thanks you, Joyce, as always.
Daniel Bowman said:
What a creepy guy! I like how the story turns frightening right at the very end. This Chris is definitely the wrong man to love. One suggestion: cut out ‘chillingly.’ It’s implied by the following sentence. Thanks for stopping by at mine and I enjoyed reading yours!
readinpleasure said:
Appreciates your suggestion. 🙂
utomosetyo2008 said:
nice interesting post
readinpleasure said:
Thank you
April Galloway (@AMelodyGalloway) said:
Your usual good job on a slightly dark piece. Sounds like he’s the “you only leave on my terms” kind of guy.
readinpleasure said:
Thank you April. Quite the chauvinist I must say.
tigerbrite said:
Sounds like a real Mr evil eye:) Nicely done.
readinpleasure said:
Oh Tigerbrite, nice to see you here. Many thanks for commenting.
rgayer55 said:
Talk about a cliff-hanger ending. I can’t wait till the next episode to find out which way she chose.
readinpleasure said:
Thank you, Russel. 🙂
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eof737 said:
I like that…. Great retort. 😉
readinpleasure said:
Thanks. 🙂